Temple Conversations with High School Friends

So one of my really good friends from high school has been facebooking me a lot lately, asking about the wedding. She has been so excited for me. We never really talked about my religion or the church or anything when we were in school together, but she has been asking a lot of questions lately. I haven't known exactly how to answer most of them, because I have never actually BEEN to the temple, so I don't think  I did the best job explaining things, but I tried to tell her about things that she would relate to and understand. What is really interesting to me is that we have much more open conversations now than we used to...religion was a non-discussed topic in high school, and I didn't even realize how important God was to her, and how much marriage meant to her...we had a lot more in common than I realized. Anyway, here is our most recent conversation. 

Sarah: i literally can't wait to hear and see all about your wedding!

Me: haha me too!! I'll be sure to put up lots of pictures~!

Sarah: i can't even imagine how excited you must be! this is gonna be a whole newchapter in your life! i can't wait for that to happen to me! ahh i wish i could go to your wedding!!!

Me: I wish you could come too! ...and yeah, it feels so strange and exciting...weird to have all of our stuff in an apartment together...and everything matches and looks nice and stuff. it isn't a student apartment. ...you HAVE to let me know and invite me to yours!

Sarah: um of course i will! wouldn't be a party without you!!

how did you manage to pull off planning a wedding and school so fast??

Me: Idk...it didn't really seem that fast, I had 10 months to plan. But my sisters and mom helped a lot.

Sarah: oh! a lot of people told me that it takes forever to plan a wedding so i just assumed! how many people are you having?

Me: The actual wedding will be in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple, just for family and friends that have temple reccommends. the reception is in the springville art museum, and anoyone can come. I'm guessing there will be 70 people at the wedding and 200 at the reception.

Sarah: thats awesome!! ;] i wouldn't even know where to begin with planning a wedding!

Me: ..this is a photo of the temple.

Sarah: oh wow! that is beautiful!!!

Me:...it makes it easier when you don't have to plan the ceremony...you just set up an appointment at the temple and get interviews. You don't have to do anything else except buy a dress and show up...They have sealers that do the ceremony, and the temple is absolutely gorgeous, so it would just be silly to try to add decorations.

isn't it pretty!?

Sarah: pretty is an understatement. i can't wait to see you dress! is your dad walking down the aisle or your mom and dad?

Me: there isn't really an aisle. It's a room...I'll find a picture... hold on...

Sarah: oh okay!

Sarah: ohhh i get it! thats really pretty on the inside!!

so then would chris see you before the wedding then?

Me:  No...we will see each other when we enter the room (I think)...then you go forward and kneel at the altar and make promises to God.

Sarah: beautiful! you nervous at all? sorry im asking so many questions!

Me: its different from other wedding ceremonies because you don't promise to eachother, you promise God, so you are accountable to him if you break your covenants or hurt your spouse in any way. And you are sealed, not just married, so you will be together after you die, and your children that you have in that marriage will be sealed to you, too.

Sarah: thats really special!

Me: ...which explains why I am SO nervous...If I mess this up, it won't be like I just break a promise to Chris, it will be breaking a promise with God.

Sarah: you won't mess it up!! how could you mess it up, you love Chris and you love God! but i would totally be nervous too! thats really awesome that you guys are both so strong in your faith too!

Me: Thanks, Sarah. lol. It's just a LOT of responsibility. (sidenote: this is also why things like spousal abuse or cheating or divorce are a HUGE deal if you are mormon...because you are responsible to god for anything you do to hurt that person.)

Yeah, I am so glad that I am marrying someone that is so committed to God and wants to do what God wants... he is a really good man.

Sarah: and i think that makes your relationship with chris that much stronger because God is such a big part of it, and i think that it will be taken more seriously because if he hurts you he hurts God too

I feel like now a days people go into a marriage knowing that they can just get a divorce if it doens't work out, and thats something that breaks my heart because it should be like that at all

shouldn't *

Me: yeah. I wish more people took marriage more seriously...I think a lot of people just aren't completely committed...divorce should never be part of the picture (except in cases like abuse, cheating, ect) ...I think a lot of people just don't want to work on it, they don't realize that love takes work. I think most problems people have could be fixed if they both tried to come closer together and both were kinder and more willing to change and try to be better.

Sarah: exactly!! divorce is so sad

are you guys going on a honeymoon after the wedding?

Me: yeah. and it's crazy how many people do that.

yep! we have a cabin rented in the mountains, close to a ski resort.

Sarah: oh yeah!! i think i remember you mentioning that!!

Any thoughts? Things I left out that I should talk about in our next conversation? (She told me at the end that she wanted to get together for lunch and talk more about it, and when I said I wouldn't be in town, she asked if it would be okay if she asked me more later.) I don't really know what I am supposed to tell her about some of this stuff...and she is so inquisitive! 

Sidenote: Interesting that all of these people I knew growing up never talked to me about the church or my beliefs when we were younger, and now that we are all separated and starting our own lives, I have had a lot of people contact me and ask questions, or tell me that I was a good example to them in high school (which is ironic, because I thought i was a pretty horrible person)...anyway. I'm glad that I gave at least a few people an interest in the church. 

Engagments are Awesome

I know everyone says engagement is the worst part of a relationship, but I have really enjoyed mine. It has been wonderful to have this time to plan out school, work, kids, and our first home (Not everyone has time to build their furniture during their engagement!) And I am so glad that we've had some time to visit our hometowns and get to know one another's families better.

Really, it is the growth of the relationships we have with our families that has been so wonderful. I love my family so much, and it makes me so happy to see Chris coming to love them, too. Yesterday, I spent several hours at Ruth's helping her make another Christmas blanket for Evelyn. Evelyn was smiling and gurgling to herself, and we were drinking hot chocolate, planning the blanket, talking about the utensil organizer Chris built Ruth for her birthday, and the mantlepiece Chris and Jordan are planning on building together when we get back. About halfway through making the blanket (We had just finished all of the seams, and were getting ready to turn it right side-out) We realized that we had sewed one of the right sides in, and we had to rip out every single perfect seam that Ruth had sewed. We laughed at our mistake and sat down to pull out the seams. Sitting there, picking at the stitches, laughing with my sister, I felt so happy and so grateful.

I love being part of a family. I love the feeling that everyone is working together and loving each other. We have had so many people helping us get ready for our marriage...Our parents have planned open houses and receptions, Ruth, Mary Beth, and Elise are throwing me a bridal shower (I got the invite yesterday, and it is beautiful!). Chris' grandfather agreed to seal us in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple. Rachael has talked to me about birth control options and given me awesome advice. Elise took me to pick out my wedding shoes, have my dress fitted, and a veil made. Allison spent 10 hours taking our engagement photos, and more time editing them, Owen and Eva signed for our reception venue (and got as a significant discount), and Susan is throwing me a bridal shower for all of my family...there has been so much love, help, support, and fantastic advice.

But I don't think anyone has put more time and thought into planning everything than Ruth. Seriously, I think she has been more involved than me. She found me a hair and makeup stylist, set up the appointment, and even paid for it. She helped me choose invitations, even took me to the post office to mail them and spent about an hour putting all of the stamps on. She and Elise took me to pick out my wedding dress. She picked the Springville Art Museum for the reception. She has helped plan centerpieces, food, and even the wedding cake. She has advised me on my nails, my registry, my photos, everything. She even helped me find a good OBGYN, took me to my first appointment, and to breakfast afterwards. I have no idea what I would be doing right now without her. I am so grateful for her help. But mostly, I am so grateful that she and Jordan have made such an effort to make Chris feel like part of the family--they have hosted dinners, asked him for help and advice in things like construction, areas he is confident and has experience in, and even has us babysit.

I have loved my engagement so much, because it has been such a time of growth. I have seen my love for Chris grow, and his love for me--and our love for our own families and one another's. I am so excited to fly to Iowa tomorrow with Chris and spend some time with his family--I know his mom has been working so hard to make our open house there beautiful. I am so excited to take Chris around in Portage, and show him the town I grew up in. I'm excited for him to meet my sister Rachael's family, and for our parents to finally meet and get to know each other. I'm so excited for the open house in Michigan--I am excited for the fantastic food, family, and friends to all be together.

This Christmas season is going to be fantastic.Our whole families will be together. People are flying and driving from all over to come to our wedding and show their support and love. I never knew how many people loved me and cared about me and Chris, until this year. I am so so so grateful for our wonderful families. I love mine and his so much, and I am so excited to start a family with Chris, and bring everyone together into one.

Table and Chairs, Plus a Little Learning about Christmas

This last weekend, Chris and I finished up our breakfast bar/dining table and stools. I don't have any pictures of us making the table (regret! I worked that chop saw, and there is no photo evidence to prove it!) But I managed to snap a few while we were making staining the stools, and I took a few after shots of the table. The lighting is really bad, and you can't really see the detail and color right, but you get the idea. 

 

We got the stools from a little furniture shop in downtown Provo. They sell unfinished furniture...it is the cutest little store, and it was perfect for us because we wanted our stools to match our table, but we didn't want to have to make stools...according to Chris, they are a pain to get all of the angles right and make sure the legs are level.

 

So, we sanded them down (they were stamped with "made in mongolia" I think Chris disliked the idea of it telling everyone that he didn't make them....anyway, they are smooth and soft now).

And applied our first coat of stain. It's a dark brown...soo pretty, but you can't really see the color here. There is a lot of graining and fun different highlights in real life. Like I said, poor quality photos, but they're all I've got.

 

Chris gets really focused when he is "doing his crafts" ...He doesn't really like to be photographed, and you can forget about posing. But it's okay...I love his look of intense concentration. So cute!

 Since it is a bar, it doesn't have legs. We have 3 brackets that we've spray painted, and we are going to use them to screw the table into the 40" wall in our tiny apartment. So, for this picture, I just put our table on top of my kitchen table now, so you can get the idea of what it will look like. (side note: I highly recommend making tables for awkward room layouts. Cambridge Court is lovely, but it is NOT table-friendly. We've seen a few apartments, and the tables are either barely there, or take up way too much space and make it difficult to squeeze in between rooms. But if you make your own table, you can measure the space you've got and decide exactly what size you want and how it will fit into the room. Ours is perfect for the tiny space--it is exactly the length of the wall we are putting it on, and since it is a bar it doesn't come out too much. Also, we won't be tripping over chairs, because the stools can slide under the bar. Bonus: we got to pick the stain, the kind of wood we wanted, and the design of the edges.)

 We used molding for the table edges--much easier than a router, and less expensive. We stacked two pieces on top of each other. The top one has a vine and leaves carved into it, and the bottom one is just a simple curvy kinda thing. It makes it look so fancy and cool! When we make more furniture in the future, like bookcases and headboards and stuff, we are definitely going to use molding.

 Show and tell! I asked him to stand still and smile...not quite what I was envisioning, but this is much, much better. So sassy.

 ...and then he just started going over the top. Ever danced with a table? Chris has.
Also, we painted our Christmas Santas! They turned out way better than I thought they would. They don't look much like the ones I remember from my childhood, but not everything in our family will be like it was in the families we were raised in, and  I like these, because they are ours...we painted them together while we ate omelets and toaster strudel, and gossiped about Griffeth's engagement. I've finally stopped looking for the exact nativity we had when I was little, and for the "O Holy Night" Snow globe. Christmas will not be how it was at home in Michigan, and that's okay! Our Christmases will be wonderful BECAUSE they are different, and because we have blended our two families traditions and added some spice of our own. Anyway, here is how our Santas turned out:

Aren't they darling?!

Crafty Crafty Crafty!!

I have been feeling very crafty lately. I want to build and sew and invent every single thing that goes into our house!! Chris got me started on it with the whole "hey let's build our own dining room table" thing...and it turned out absolutely beautiful! It's a rich, dark wood with beautiful graining and knots...and it has carved leaves and vines around the edges. I've never seen such a pretty breakfast bar. (pictures to follow!)

Now, whenever I say, "Oh, we probably need a bookcase" or, "let's get some side tables" or, "we will probably want a headboard or something sometime", Chris says, "Okay, I'll build it for you, just tell me how you want it." ...and it's starting to rub off on me. I found a duvet cover at pottery barn that I LOVE, but it is 500 dollars. ...and THEN I found a pattern online for the EXACT SAME duvet...and the girl who posted it made it to replace her pottery barn duvet, and spent about 50 bucks on materials. Hello, future ginormous sewing project that will look exactly how I want it to and be super fun and save us tons of money!!

I've decided to wait to make it until my schedule is a little more open--besides, Chris and I still have to stain the stools to match our table, and paint some Christmas decorations. (We found some awesome Santas at Michaels, and decided they would be fun to paint. We also found a nativity set that you can paint--so so so tempting!!)

Anyway, we have become very projecty people. It was so fun building that table. I used a chop saw and a nail gun for the first time--it was so fun! ...and we helped Chris' friend do some construction in the basement. He is dividing the basement into 3 rooms, and we built and put up the frames or studs or whatever...anyway, it involved a lot of chopping and nailing and banging things into place. It was cool to see the rooms take shape. I'm really glad I am marrying someone that is so handy--I'm pretty sure if I handed him a picture of a house I wanted, he would hire a plumber and electrician, and build it himself. (I sincerely doubt that will ever happen, but I do know that if we ever decide to rennovate, we will do it ourselves.)

So, right now, we have a big list of projects:

Done: Table
Next: stain 2 stools. paint santas
Future: sew duvet cover, shams, bed skirt, and throw pillows for bed and couches. Build bookcase, build shelves for closet, build side tables, build bed, and any other wooden furniture we decide we want. Paint living room fern green, paint bedroom dusky blue.

I love having projects. It is so much fun to create, especially with Chris--he gets so excited!! ...and it is so satisfying to look at something and know that we made it together, and it is ours, and it is beautiful. I look forward to a lifetime of creating beautiful things with Chris. ...like crafts and stuff. not children. well, not for a while, at least/