But really, since we don't live together, and I only see him for a few hours in the evening (from 4 or 6 to 9, most nights), it feels pretty much the same as it did before we were married...just sinful.
I'm totally kidding. Married life is great. I mean, it's true, it was an adjustment from winter break, when we were actually TOGETHER all the time, but active duty life really isn't that bad.
The fitness center on base offers free aerobic classes every day of the week...they have yoga, pilates, zumba, weight training, spin/cycling, cardio/stretch, plus personal trainers all over the gym ready to yell at you like you're the new recruit they get to whip into shape. (I haven't been brave enough to step foot in the gym, but Danielle tells me they are very good at motivating you.) I've been going to yoga regularly, and I'm planning on adding pilates as soon as my muscles stop weeping in misery after every class.
I've picked up sketching and crocheting again, and I'm starting my online class, Child Development, tomorrow. I'm hoping that sometime I will get around to sending thank-you notes, too. Plus, I'm helping Dana teach 28 3rd graders violin on Tuesdays. Note to self: have a party to celebrate that I will never, ever, ever be an elementary school teacher. Little kids are mean and scary! They don't listen when you talk to them and they never do what you tell them to, either. I have gained so much respect for teachers, and so much knowledge about myself: I now know that I am absolutely terrified of large groups of children. Scariest part of my week: Standing up in front of 30 little kids with violins, trying to get them to not damage each other or the instruments, and be quiet and listen and respond when I call their names on the roll.
Just for funsies, I'm going to throw in a few things I've realized, now that I'm married.
1. The snuggle-to-sleep expectation I had before we got married was completely dissolved. I don't know how Chris has SO MUCH BODY HEAT, but he does! We sleep facing away from each other, curled up on our sides, as close to the edge of our respective side of the bed as we can...and I STILL have to have a fan turned on! ...However, this may just be because Arizona is HOT in the winter. When we were in Utah, and didn't want to pay for heat, the sleeping arrangements were not quite so strict.
2. My recognition of love gestures has changed. Chris hates making the bed. Hates, hates, hates it. So on weekends, when I come back from the shower in the morning to see a freshly made bed, I know he loves me. I also feel extremely loved when he does dishes with me, folds laundry, and takes me to farmer's markets and to parks (with bread to feed the ducks!) Those little things make a huge difference when I know he is stressed and exhausted from work and PT and would really just like to sleep.
3. Nothing is gross anymore.
4. Chris is much more ambitious and disciplined than I realized. He can study for hours and hours! And he doesn't study just to pass his tests. He wants 100%. Every time. He gets up super early to exercise...not just to be in shape. He wants to be the fastest runner in his class. Every time. He wants to be the top graduate--have the best grades, no disciplinary record, best physical shape. Apparently, top graduate is a really big honor, and he thinks it will help him get better jobs down the road. Plus, he missed being top graduate in Basic because he spent his PT working with a kid that was failing the running...he would run with him, and keep him going, which slowed down his own time. He is still glad he helped him, I know, but I also know that he won't forget that he missed top graduate by 2 people, and he wants it this time around. Oh, and every few days he goes home early so he can review the material with some of the guys in his class that have been failing tests. And last week, he promised the guys treats after the block test--he made them scotcheroos. Like I said. He is a tiny tiny bit of an overachiever. His text last week to me was, "I got a 98 on my test. :( Missed a dumb question." ...and 5 minutes later "Got the points back! 100%." ...I am never, ever, ever letting him see my GPA.
5. Military uniforms take up SO MUCH SPACE in a washer/dryer. I swear, each blouse needs its own load! And those dog tags that everyone thinks are so cool and awesome? They bang you in the face if the person wearing them leans over you while you are quietly reading a book. Plus, when your husband is wearing his uniform, you can't show any kind of affection. Holding hands? Off limits! Don't get me wrong, the uniform looks awesome, but it kind of takes the fun and romance out of it when you run up--and then stop abruptly and smile.
6. Boys eat. A lot. I've never spent so much money on groceries. I always knew he ate a lot--but it's a lot more when he's exercising like crazy all the time. HE IS ALWAYS HUNGRY!!
7. Marriage is a ton of work. And when people are under stress, and homesick, and worried about one another, and possibly a little sad and lonely, it is even more work...it is wonderful and fun and rewarding, but being married, and being married away from home and mostly away from one another, requires so much effort and validation and love and assurances on the part of each partner. Every day, Chris comes to meet me, and I swear I can see the worry in his face...did I have a good day? Am I unhappy? Do I wish I were back in Utah? Is he worth it to me? And I know I come to him with my worries and insecurities and questions. It is beautiful and wonderful to spend the evening talking and cooking and laughing and reminding one another that we DO love and appreciate each other, that we think the other person is doing good things, and that we are so much happier here together than we would be anywhere else.
8. It is a good idea to change your name and marital status before you flee the state. We still don't have our marriage license, and so we can't change my name on anything...it just makes everything so confusing. I think I'm still technically Rosalind Clarissa Decker. I'm hoping to be able to change my name sometime before April.
9. Chris really, really, really likes football. And apparently wants to coach when he retires. And open some kind of store where he can tell people about "his wares" ...upon further questioning, a trinket store. But not trinkets he makes, just ones he can tell people about. He also loves zoos.
10. Sometimes when you are married, you have to do things you don't want to do because they make your spouse happy. Like when we were at the aquarium, and I really, really didn't want to feed the sting ray, but Chris really wanted me to and thought it would be so cool and fun, and he even bought another thing of shrimp when I got scared and dropped the last 2 pieces in the water and flipped the sting ray...so I made myself stay put and feed it. It took off a chunk of my skin along with the shrimp, and it was slimy and hurt really bad, but Chris was so proud and excited and happy and kept saying, "You've fed a sting ray!" ...which did, in fact, sound pretty cool, even if my finger did hurt a ton, so we celebrated with some hand sanitizer.
That's it, that's all I've got, I'm going to bed.
Great observations! I'm glad you're together, even though it's a few hours a day. And you will have so much appreciation for your apartment and school and your life together when you get back to Provo!
ReplyDeleteYou may find some techniques in your child development class that will help teaching violin to be less intimidating. Most little kids aren't inherently mean and scary. :-)
ReplyDeleteI hope so. I don't have a problem when it's one on one or small groups, but large groups are overwhelming.
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